Jim Bakker Show

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.

Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But,only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is God-given.

Author Unknown

Early August 1998

“The next year, 1977, I got pregnant again. Jesse and I had moved to Farmington, New Mexico. I remember we drove there the night Elvis died, pulling a small trailer with everything we owned. Jesse was working a lot of hours as a boilermaker for a power plant there. We rented a double-wide mobile home, and it was one of the nicer places we lived. I fixed it up, and I was the typical little housewife—except that I smoked pot all the time. We weren’t doing major drugs then. My grandma Graham died, and when I flew to Phoenix for the funeral, I made a doctor’s appointment. I needed to have a cyst removed, and since I had just found out I was pregnant—and Jesse didn’t want the baby, of course—I decided to have an abortion at the same time. That was the only abortion that was done in a hospital.”

Chris and Jolene asked a question now and then to prod my memory, but mostly they just let me talk.

“Jesse and I separated for a while, and he had a girlfriend. When we got back together, we moved to Pinetop, up in the mountains; it was very beautiful there. Because of Jesse’s work we moved a lot, little towns all over Arizona and New Mexico. I once counted fifty different apartments or houses or hotels where we had lived in the ten years we were married.

“We went to Prescott for the fourth of July. It was wild there in the ‘70’s. The Hell’s Angels would ride into town, and the police would close the streets for the holiday. Prescott is a quaint little town with antique shops, and there’s a street called Whiskey Row with a bunch of saloons. Jesse and I were doing Quaaludes and partying in and out of the bars. I was so spaced out, I was offering Quaaludes to cops; there was no way they could control the drugs and alcohol, so they simply tried to keep the peace. We were in front of the courthouse, in the center of town, when Jesse went nuts and started hitting me, and the cops had to pull him off of me.
“Jesse screamed, ‘Just get the ______ out of my life. Go find somebody else.’

“I literally took him up on it. I turned around, walked across the street, went into a bar, and met a man. Paul took me to his cabin, and I spent the night there with him. We had an off-and-on relationship for the next couple of years. Whenever Jesse beat me up, I called Paul; he came and got me and nursed me back to health. He was a very gentle guy. I don’t think he ever wanted me to leave Jesse to marry him, but he was always there for m. Jesse never knew about him.”

…..more to come.

Joy Came in the Morning – Part 1
Joy Came in the Morning – Part 2
Joy Came in the Morning – Part 3

Early August 1998

We had a beautiful suite with a separate bedroom and a kitchenette off the full-size living room. From the moment we walked in, I felt the presence of God, and I began to realize that something truly supernatural was in store for me that night. Because I knew it would be an emotional time, I went to the bathroom, took my contacts out, and washed my face. While I was putting my pajamas on, Chris and Jolene prepared the living room. They placed boxes of tissues in various spots around the room, and they decorated one of the tables with a white linen tablecloth with lace trim.

“We want to anoint you with oil and pray before we begin,” one of them said. They prayed and asked God to reveal whatever memories I needed for my healing. That’s an important part of post-abortion ministry, because you immediately start blocking out the memories of that event. It’s a defense mechanism. You couldn’t live with what you did if you had to face it, so you suppress the memories and bury the details so deep in the recesses of your mind that you’re able to live in complete denial of what you’ve done.

After we prayed, Chris and Jolene asked me to start telling what I remembered about my abortions. “The first one was in May 1975,” I said. “That’s the only one I can even tell you the exact month and year.” I told the story of being pregnant before I married Jesse and choosing him over the baby.

“The second abortion was in 1976,” I said. “I don’t remember the actual abortion; I just remember coming home to our apartment and lying on the loveseat-rocker all day. Jesse asked me, ‘Are you okay?’ and I remember looking up at him and thinking, Now you ask. I just killed my own baby—our baby— something I really wanted and you’re asking if I’m okay. But I didn’t say it.

“There were always two reasons for the abortions. One was that Jesse didn’t want to have kids yet. ‘Someday,’ he’d always say. The other reason was drugs. I’d seen films in health class about babies who were born addicted to drugs, and it horrified me. We were so into drugs—cocaine and LSD, and even PCP, an animal tranquilizer that produced a cheap but intense high. The one time I thought I was going to die from drugs was the time I did PCP, around the time of that second abortion.

“My brother Mark and a friend brought the PCP over to our apartment; Mark had wanted to turn me and Jesse on for a change, since we were always sharing our drugs with him. Mark laced a joint with the PCP, and the four of us smoked, it. The drug makes you so high, you’re numb for hours; you can’t feel anything. It was wintertime and raining, but I remember going outside and letting the rain pour down on me. I couldn’t feel the cold or the rain. I started getting really scared. I went back inside and sat on that rocking loveseat for twelve hours without moving. I was virtually paralyzed. Jesse was sitting next to me, watching an old rerun of The Honeymooners. I started crying, becoming almost hysterical. ‘I’m going to die,’ I told him. ‘I’m not making it this time.’ He tried to talk me through the high, ‘Don’t worry. You’ll be fine,’ he said. But he later told me he had thought we were both going to die. At one point I cried out, ‘God if you’re real, please spare me from this, and I’ll never do it again.’ That was one promise I made good on; I never used PCP again.”

I paused to take a sip of water. Jolene and Chris encouraged me to take my time and tell it all.

…..more to come.

Joy Came in the Morning – Part 1
Joy Came in the Morning – Part 2
Joy Came in the Morning – Part 4

Early August 1998

That summer, my new friends Chris Harper and Jolene Dreisbach had been to a post-abortion healing conference in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I’d never even heard the term post-abortion before that time, but I knew God was dealing with me about the abortion issue, and I knew that’s why he had brought Chris and Jolene into my life. I also knew it was time to leave Master’s Commission but did not yet know what I would do after that. Pastor Barnett had asked me to go to L.A. and help start the LAIC, the outreach that eventually became the Dream Center. Jack Wallace, who had been teaching the singles’ class the Sunday in 1989 when I made a commitment to Christ, was now pasturing a church in Detroit and wanted me on staff there. It would be a paid ministry position, and that would be a first for me.

As I prayed for direction, God started putting all the puzzle pieces together, and by August, Chris, Jolene, and I had decided to start a ministry to help bring healing to women who’d been through abortions. Before we formalized our plans to start Truth Ministries, the girls had told me they wanted to hold a memorial service for me. They’d been working on the ideas they’d learned at the Milwaukee conference, which had been not just for helping women heal emotionally after abortion but also after miscarriage and SIDS. “If we incorporated the Holy Spirit into the memorial,” they told me, “incredible things could happen.”

“Lori, think of it this way,” Chris said. “You never had a baby shower or did any of the things that would commemorate having a child. That’s what this memorial will do.”

“Or think of it this way,” Jolene added. “If you’d had a still born child or even a miscarriage, friends would have consoled you, and you would have mourned. But women who’ve had abortions—women like us—actually had the same kind of loss, yet we never had the experience of grieving for our children.”

I thought the idea of holding a memorial service for me sounded kind of strange at first, but they persisted.

“This is a way to deal with the abortions once and for all and to bring closure on the past,” Chris said.

Jolene agreed. “Please let us do this for you, Lori.”

We scheduled the memorial for the last weekend in August, right before my birthday. The week prior to that, God started softening my heart. I had always been the strong one, the one people came to with their problems. That week I became mush. Pastor Barnett rarely mentioned abortion from the pulpit, but that week he mentioned it twice, Sunday morning and Wednesday night. For some reason it was on his heart; he didn’t know I was that reason. He preached that abortion was wrong, but he also expressed compassion for women who had felt they had no other alternative.

On Wednesday night after church, Chris and Jolene told their families good-bye, then we drove to neighboring Scottsdale, where they had rented a one-bedroom hotel suite. We planned on staying until Friday night, so the fact that Chris and Jolene’s husbands were taking care of their kids for two days so we could be free to do this was a big deal to me. I didn’t think I deserved it. I was always telling people that God had great things in store for them, but I didn’t believe I would ever have the great things of God because the sin I had committed—abortion—was so horrible. I felt I would have to live with the pain and the emptiness, the loss and the shame, no matter how great a Christian I became. As we drove to Scottsdale, I sensed God saying to me, “Let these people minister to you.”

…..more to come.

Joy Came in the Morning – Part 1
Joy Came in the Morning – Part 3
Joy Came in the Morning – Part 4

We are all familiar with the Cinderella story of how a poor little servant girl became a princess. In that wonderful story, Cinderella had no ambitions of becoming a princess, but she was magically thrust forward into it by true love.

Not too long ago, I wrote a blog about the first time I saw Maricela. She was filthy from head to toe standing at the top of a stairway in danger of falling. She has come a long way since that day; from destruction to destiny, a real-life Cinderella!

My life has truly been a Cinderella story as well in the last 12 years, and the magic was by design of my Creator, Savior and Lord. In 1998, when Jim and I married, Pastor Lloyd Zeigler presented me with a pair of old worn-out shoes, representing my old life. He then presented a beautiful pair of glass slippers representing how my life had been changed into a Cinderella story with this surreal romance and marriage to the very high profile Mr. Jim Bakker. I was suddenly in front of millions of people on nationwide television telling our love story.

While in Master’s Commission in Phoenix, my mentor and teacher for 10 years was Pastor Lloyd Zeigler. He was my covering and spiritual leader until Jim came along. I learned how to be a true servant through this humble man whom God has used to equip young leaders to be servants first in the Kingdom. Jesus was the ultimate servant-leader, serving humanity by humbling himself even to his death on the cross.

Humility is not so much taught as it is caught. I remember once when it was time for our group to leave for an event, they sent me to knock on Pastor Lloyd’s hotel room door. When he answered, he said he had to finish cleaning the bathtub before he would be ready to go! You see, he taught us to always leave a place cleaner than when we came – even our hotel rooms. When you have a servant-leader who models true servanthood, as Pastor Lloyd did to us, you begin to understand that it’s not so much about living your dreams as it is about dieing to self.

Just as the Cinderella story came true in my life, it has also come true in Maricela’s. I didn’t have much of a chance in life if I had continued my sinful ways. Maricela didn’t have much of a chance if she stayed in the ghetto. But God had other plans.

Cinderella represents the dreams of many young women who are trapped in lives going nowhere…. Fast. But even Cinderella can’t compare with the utter transformation in the lives of those who follow the real Prince – the Prince of Peace, our Jesus!

Watch Maricela and John’s wedding ceremony with us tomorrow at www.jimbakkershow.com and click on the “watch us live” tab.

Who knows, you may even see a glass slipper or two!

As the Mother of the Bride, I was asked recently what thoughts I was having about my oldest daughter leaving the nest. Quite frankly, I have great thoughts about it! She is marrying the absolute most wonderful man for her – it’s truly a match made in heaven.

Even so, as a matter of responsibility and love for both of them, one week before the wedding, I had the proverbial “it’s not too late to back out” talk with both of them – together. Before I did that, I thought it all the way through in my mind, or so I thought. I knew it might cause the family some embarrassment should one of them take me up on it, but better a little embarrassment now than either one of them feeling like they were trapped (as unlikely as that was)!

John had this child-like grin the entire time I was talking and then he smiled at me with the most reassuring boyish grin I’ve ever seen and told me frankly that there was no chance of that happening! Nena rolled her eyes and grinned – and then she assured me that she was going into this with eyes wide open and that no one is going to back out!

All through this entire process of John and Nena dating, being engaged, and now to marry on Saturday, I have had a protective instinct! But now, finally, as we are about to see these two wonderful young adults begin their life together – I realize that my protective instinct is gone! It may have been a process for me to work through – but now I am assured Nena is in great hands, and they are very right for each other. Their relationship has been consistent, solid and joyful with God at the center!

Now I feel totally prepared in heart to let her go….. I think.

Besides, she will only be a few doors down the hall!

“Jamie Charles Bakker was born December 18, 1975.” Jim was pretending to narrate a biography of his son.

The four of us— Jim and I, Jay and Amanda—were traveling from L.A. to Muskegon, Michigan, for the Bakker family reunion, and Jim was using the occasion to fill me in on some of the family history. Jim continued his story, but my mind stopped and focused on that date. December 18, 1975.

“Lori, you sure got quiet,” Jay said after a few minutes. “Are you carsick? Or just mesmerized by our life stories?” The others laughed.

“No, I…Sorry, Jay, I just had a major reality check when I heard your date of birth.” I swallowed hard. “You’re the same age my firstborn son would have been.” That realization had hit me like a ton of bricks. If I had carried my first pregnancy to term, the baby would have been born in late December ’75 or early January ’76.” I was looking at a flesh-and-blood son—soon to be my son, or at least my stepson—with his arm around his girlfriend, and he was the same age my firstborn would have been. “You guys could have been really good friends,” I said wistfully.

The moment passed awkwardly, Jay didn’t know what to say, and Jim simply looked sad. He reached over and took my hand. As much healing as I have had, the old, familiar grief can still reach out and squeeze my heart in a split second. IT doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it is very real. Every time I looked at Jay for the next few hours, I thought of the son I never had because of my own choices. Gradually those thoughts faded.

Such thoughts, while painful, no longer overwhelmed me because of a deep inner healing I had experienced in 1994. That event remains the single most precious moment of truth in my life.

…..more to come.

Joy Came in the Morning – Part 2
Joy Came in the Morning – Part 3
Joy Came in the Morning – Part 4